My ex-sort-of-girlfriend. We meet each other in internet. I came to her city for College...and be more close to her. But she just wanted sex. When she find out that I was more interesed, she cut out the relationship. Without telling me about it. She just started to stop of talking to me, and was never online. We lived in the same city, she said that she loved me and then just dissapeared. I hated her and start a dark moment, due with this and other problems, about myself and my degree, as internet people and role games. All that finish with me, writing more than ever in november (first the Nanowritemo, then other challenges and fandoms, in spanish but I am translating a few drabbles, so I hope be making it better in english than before) and hoping this year in College, be better than the 2008. But me and her are in the SAME University. I want to approve a few exams more and get in other of a city more close to my mother (my relationship with my family is not very good, but I am using money of they, so can't help but try of reduce some bills. If I can go everyday using train, it's less expensive than living overhere, reting a room and traveling half hour in bus), but it's going to take like a year more. I don't want to see her, it's too painful. I tried to talk with her and make sure we were all finished. Yes, we were, but all the people now think that I am stalking her. To a poor, intelectual, active, happy and totally heterosexual girl. Yeah. She is having sex with a girl of a politic gang. I am an individualist and nihilist person. She used to understand. Not now. She just make fun of me when I tried to talk about her new point of view (use a t-shit of Ernesto Guevara and "change the world" with that and a scholar paper), but she get mad and I just understand that point one or two are total true:
One.She is living a lie and know that, but it's more easy to pretend in front of other people, who will acept her and make her believe she is an hero.
Two. She doesn't knows. She really believes in what she is telling. That you can be a comunist and a former russian critic (historic fact: they hate each other and reprove the actions of one to another). That Umberto Eco it's a conformist bastard, fascist and catholic (I wish to know if you read the same book than I). That Isabel Allende is the best writer in Latin America because she is a revolutionary woman! (She didn't know that she was helping "political criminals". She was just doing what her boss and family told her, because she was naive and though that being "hippy" was...having a big and pink flower sticker in the car. And using long skirts. She confessed it in her biography). That if you read a translation with spanish or mexican modism, you will get confused if you are of Argentine. (It's like if you said that living in Canada, you can't read the english terms of New York oral talk or the britanic. At least, if you are interesed in books since a while ago, you know that you can't find ALWAYS the translation with the terms of your country/state/social group. Maybe you will need a dictionary first or comun sense, think about it a while or ask in some forum. But it's not impossible and comon, it's not like if some kind of books being here. There is not enough market. So much better if you can read it in the original, but what if this one it's in french or japanese, as it's happen to me, most of time and buy it in other country with an english version it too expensive? You most get used to it. And it's like a cultural need: how the hell are we going to work-all Latin America-in team if we hate each other words?)
I don't want back to talk her anymore, but I am noticing that a lot of "friends" of her, which actually were so kind with me before of all this, are stoping of talking to me because of this. They believe I have something against her or her way of live. I can't tell them all this, she is bisexual, but just because she likes the sex with other womans. She can have a boyfriend, but not a girlfriend. So, I am kinda alone, except for a few persons, who are more cynics than me, even. So sorry If I am getting bitter.
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